Monday, July 9, 2007
Bittersweet
Why do we long to "get away" from it all and have a "break" from our children, but then when we get the opportunity to do so we freak out? Or am I speaking for myself, does anyone else get nervous leaving their kids? I don't mean to go out to dinner, I mean for an adult vacation. Not an adult vacation, but one where you actually get to sleep in, no ketchup and pee by yourself. I am ready to venture off on such said trip and am quite nervous. My brain tells me to go and enjoy myself and be selfish for a bit and enjoy the time alone with hubby. Then my irrational brain says don't go, your plane could blow up and my children will have to be raised by wolves. They will never know me, they will forget me, people would sell my house to someone who didn't know that our house is actually a part of our family, an integral part of our lives.....How could I take a selfish risk and enjoy an anniversary trip? Am I nuts? Many may say so for other reasons, but really am I being completely irrational? I know that it is more dangerous to drive to the airport than to fly, but what if I eat get sick on the trip, like get madlobster disease? No, that I am not worried about, that is just silly. I am actually not too nervous about them, they are in capable hands and at home. I think it just is a reality check to my own mortality. I hate thinking doom and gloom, but sometimes it just happens to pop into my conscience. Why is it hard to let go and just relax and enjoy the opportunity? Besides being high strung, neurotic, crazy about my kids, and a control freak, any insights?
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1 comment:
I'm a spaz too. Get it out of your system now so you can go and have a great time! I totally agree, though, that we start envisioning unrealistic fiery wrecks, meteors landing on our homes or wild beasts attacking our children while they're playing at the park. We think we are super-human and, if only we were there, we could have been ultra-resourceful and saved the day. Surely we would have been able to beat off that swarm of killer bees with a stick or just bad gas. Ultimately, nothing will happen, except the kids will have a great time - and so will you. You'll come back with a renewed optimisim in your relationship with the man of the house - :-) - and ready to tackle the overflowing toilets, acrylic paint on the leather couch, puking in the car and whatever other endearing events you've had a sabbatical (however short) from.
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