Where: My Mind
When: Right Now
Occasion: Feeling the Fool/Village I'jit.
Okay. Here is another non lovy blog. I guess I can start out by saying that I had a really nice weekend with my kids. They were well behaved and just a joy to be around. They cracked me up and wonderful. No complaints there! Yeah.
Now. I do not want to start a whining session but I am feeling a little down and maybe need a bit of encouragement or something. I am feeling stoopid again. I feel this way when I go out of my way and then I feel incredibley not appreciated or my actions were in total vain. I first need to say that all the things I do, I do not expect credit. I don't want the attention, I just want action or something, but I don't want a skyrider thanking me or anything, I just want to be understood.
This weekend I found out that something I did out of a neighborly gesture was totally dismissed and shat on. I was also very rudely curtailed by a "friend". I certainly didn't go out of my way to do something nice for someone because I knew it would make them mad. Duh. Twice. I went out of my way twice to do nice things for people and in return blatently got dumped on. I could go into detail, but I don't want to drag it out. I just feel stupid. I wonder sometimes if I think people like me and they really don't. Am I a joke? Do people appreciate anything I do? Why do I do some of the completly random fun/nice things for people who don't care? Am I looking to feel miserable? Am I setting myself up to get hurt?
You know I would just like one day for someone else to think of me. Not like my closest friends, but you know the next level of friend. Do they ever think of me? Would they randomly drop me a card or do something selfless to say hi, or hey?
Here is my question.-should I stop doing nice things? Should I stop inviting friends over and including everyone when I am not always included? Would someone tell me what to do? Could someone wake me up and tell me that I am just the town fool. I am getting people burnout and that is not good.
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2 comments:
I definatley want to come to the party!! Turn down a party invitation??? I don't think so.
To give you my opinion on some of your questions:
I don't think you're a joke.
I don't think you're a fool.
If someone, anyone, could figure people out (especially female relationships-sorry Gloria Steinham) there would be a lot of therapists out of business.
I don't know why some people aren't appreciative. Being non-appreciative is one thing, but turning a "good deed" into a negative situation really takes a questionable "person/friend." Were you misunderstood? Maybe there was some kind of misunderstanding? I don't know what to really say about that.
I think you should stop doing things if it is hurting you more than helping others.
I think you should focus more on people that you really know care about your OR lower your expectations of others.
It's sad to say, but when we lower our expectations of others- we're not as likely to get hurt or disappointed or let down.
I would hope that someone/someones would randomly reach out to you in a gesture of kindness as you do for so many others- but we are not in control of others' actions.
Being kind hearted is hard. It's great because we can feel the love of our family and friends but we are also open to feeling the hurt.
I wish I had a bullet proof bra that would not only keep my boobs from sagging, but also keep the hurt from getting too close. (Did you notice how I said the word, "boobs"? That took a lot for me! Wow, getting crazy on the blogging site!)
I don't think you should stop doing nice things or throwing great parties where many are invited- you just don't seem like the hermit type to me. Long dirty fingernails and paranoia just don't suit your style.
As a wise, wise, old women once said, "Mean people suck." (OK, so maybe she isn't the wisest or really very old, but her words ring true.) But don't let them SUCK the good out of you.-Oliver
You are right. And the one are that really rings true is about lowering expectations. I did that a few years ago and have pretty much been okay by most standards. Then, I think my expectations started creeping up again....and now my feelings are getting bruised. It is so sad in some aspects to live without expectations that are at least decent. Oh well.
And yes, congratulations on the boob speak, I thougth it was bra that was the taboo word? Either way, order me one of those bullet proof babies, actually two one in black and the other in light pink...I like pink.
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